I’ll be a whopping 38 in October. I’ve lived seemingly all across this country now. When you move somewhere you’re bound to lose touch with ‘friends’ and acquaintances. You keep in touch with those you want to, or at least you try. Certainly distance, although supposedly making the heart grow fonder, seemingly makes staying friends harder. As we get older, life throws us curveballs and the occassional change-up. Kids, work, kids, money, and simply just life.
We had a bon voyage BBQ on Sunday and everyone we invited showed. It was really nice to see these folks and it meant a lot to us that everyone showed, got along, and wished us a fond farewell. I moved to Atlanta in October 1995. I have gotten to know so many people in the area and have some good acquaintances, and hopefully several friends that I’ll continue to stay in contact with long after we move, at least through Facebook, email, or my blog. There have also been many I’ve lost touch with – many after I moved to LA – even though I was always moving back here. It takes two to keep a relationship of any kind working and going….and it is work. One-sided relationships are always tough. But a move like ours when you’re only gone for 30 months really shows you who cares and who your real friends are.
I had a few folks here in town that I got along with well, a select few I considered to be very good friends — wives and kids were friendly, we’d get together for dinners, birthdays, etc., but lives grow apart. One of the interesting things about some of these friendships is that some tended to go south, when things are takent for granted and one friend takes advantage of the other. Friends shouldn’t use one another, they should utilize one another to bring each other up, not to hold each other back. I’ve always been the type to give you the shirt off my back, and for my good friends, I’d do anything for them, and I mean really just about anything – loan money, drive to whereever to pick them up, get their back, provide advice, shoulder to cry/lean on. I unfortunately drew the line at supporting some as dependents and being a crutch. Certainly friends don’t take advantage of one another, do they? Some do unfortunately, and those aren’t friends. Lessons learned.
I was very lucky yesterday to reconnect with an old friend with who I had not spoken to in 18-19 years. That was almost literally a lifetime ago. It was as if though time had never passed and we spoke for an effortless hour on the phone. Hopefully the reconnected friendship will last and if nothing else it was nice to reminisce. That person knows who they are and I look forward to seeing them in the next few weeks. There have been several others I’ve reconnected with thanks to Facebook but also with the threatened move back to New York, I know I’ll be seeing many more of these individuals. Many may not become true friends, but rather acquaintances again, which is fine. We all have our lives to tend to.
I’m lucky that I got to know Tom, Mark, Jim, Craig and Jay here…and I believe I’ll stay friends with them, even though moving 1,000 miles away. The quality of these individuals is high and the sincerity is there. I’m also fortunate to be moving back north and I’ll get to see Scott, JP, Todd, Tom, etc. as well. Again, I’m extremely fortunate to have what I call true friends. Over time, you realize who they are…and who they ain’t.
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